You may also have heard that an intervention can work even when nothing else will. But can or should you run an intervention of your own?

Interventions save lives. They get people who would never get treatment on their own the help they need, and when done well, interventions save the whole family from an enormous amount of pain. Unfortunately, staging an effective intervention demands planning, nerve, and family unity – and since a poorly run or unplanned intervention can actually make things worse, the stakes are high to get things right.

The Purpose of an Intervention

What is the point of staging an intervention? Most people stage addiction interventions to convince an addict or alcoholic to get treatment. Everyone participating in the event must believe that the addict needs and would benefit from addiction treatment.

Never hold an intervention without a clear goal in mind, and never hold an intervention unless all participating in the event believe in the importance of the specified goal.

Do You Need a Professional Interventionist?

If you can find a way to afford it, get professional help. You'll never regret the assistance and expertise of someone who has successfully performed countless interventions and who can help you evaluate the problem and find effective and appropriate treatment.

A professional walks into the family as an outsider, with the authority of an expert and the neutrality of someone who has no bias or history within the family. Addiction almost always creates negativity and disharmony in the family. An effective intervention demands complete unity of purpose and a consistent positive and loving tone throughout the event. A professional interventionist can have an easier time securing this unity than a family member already tangled in an emotional family web.

Additionally, you probably don't feel confident assessing the severity of the addiction/alcoholism and likely don’t know enough about addiction to make an informed and appropriate choice of addiction treatment program. A professional's judgment and assistance can help you make the right choices.

A professional interventionist can be costly, with rates varying greatly depending on the complexity of the situation, the time required for preparation, and the need for travel.

Can you do it on your own? You do not need a professional to run an intervention. You can run an effective intervention on your own, provided you are willing to get informed about the disease and the intervention process, and able to transform a disjointed family into a cohesive, loving, and unified force for change. If you can do these things, you can run an intervention on your own.

Preparing for an Intervention

If you’re planning to stage a family intervention for a loved one with a drug or alcohol problem, you as the intervention leader have quite a bit of preparation to do.

The stages of preparation include:

• Getting as educated as possible about the disease of addiction and the process of holding an intervention.
• Finding appropriate addiction treatment in advance of the intervention. If possible, make all arrangements, financial and otherwise, so that the addict can walk straight through the door and into treatment at the end of a successful intervention.
• Deciding which family members, friends, or co-workers should participate in the event.
• Selecting a time and place for the intervention.
• Arranging pre-intervention meetings, during which you explain the process, ensure that everyone understands the importance of unity and non-confrontation, and practice the actual mechanics of the event.

Even if you've decided to stage a family intervention without professional help, you should seek out a professional to help you diagnose the scale of the problem and to help you better understand what kinds of treatment are needed to address the problem.

A family doctor may or may not feel comfortable evaluating substance abuse problems, but he or she may be able to refer you to a local addiction professional. You can also call the National Resource Center at (877) 248-3026 for information about the best addiction treatment programs in your area.

Who Should Participate in the Intervention?

You want a small, committed, and passionate group of friends, family, and possibly co-workers to participate in the intervention.

People invited to participate in the intervention should:

• Have a strong emotional bond with the addict. There is little point in inviting people who hold no power to influence the changes that need to come.
• Feel committed to the ideals of the intervention. People who don't believe treatment is necessary will likely send that contradictory message during the intervention – and that's the last thing you or the addict needs.

Without a professional interventionist, you will need to find one person to serve as the group leader during the event. The group leader takes charge of the meeting and ensures that all voices get heard in a loving and non-confrontational manner. Ideally, you will find a person known and respected by addict, but a person who is not as emotionally involved in the family dynamic. Everyone must agree to follow the direction of the leader during the intervention.

Intervention Practice Sessions

Do not hold an intervention unless everyone involved participates in at least one, but preferably more, practice sessions.

Stay positive. Addicts can behave terribly. The things they do while addicted and out of control are not their fault; nevertheless, they tend to leave a lot of devastation in their wake.

Family members participating in an intervention may feel angry or betrayed by the addict. They are often conflicted, torn between love and anger, shame, or guilt, and are unsure about how to act around the addict.

Practice sessions give you the opportunity to ensure that everyone involved understands just how important it is that they stay positive during the intervention. As soon as an intervention descends to name-calling, yelling, or any form of shown anger, the power of the intervention experience diminishes.

The underlying message of an intervention is "We love you too much to watch you do this anymore" – a message that isn’t effectively transmitted through angry words or shouting.

A hostile intervention simply won't work; in fact, it will only make things worse. If you can’t meet up and practice in advance to make sure things stay focused and loving during the event, you're better off hiring a professional.

Prepare for the worst. You never know how someone will react to an intervention. Some people sit and listen attentively throughout. More often, an addict will attempt at some point to get out of the situation.

What will you do if the addict tries to leave the intervention before it starts? It's a good idea to make an action plan for a few contingencies, making sure everyone knows who will do what should a particular situation arise.

Get comfortable with the procedures. Running an informal "dress rehearsal" will help relieve everyone's apprehension. Interventions are difficult for everyone, and most people feel quite anxious and nervous prior to the event. Practicing the procedures beforehand ensures that people know at least how and when they will speak. A dress rehearsal can help make everyone feel more confident about what must be done.

Answers to Frequently Asked Questions about Interventions

What Should Be Said During an Intervention?

Every person participating in the intervention will have an opportunity to speak/read a few words to the addict, and ideally, each person will write out in advance what they need or want to say.

You want the addict to realize a few things over the course of an intervention, including:

• That they have a serious problem
• That they are harmed by their use and that the abuse also harms friends and family
• That friends and family still love them and want desperately to help
• That friends and family insist on treatment, and that a refusal to take the help offered comes with consequences

Each person should prepare a list of real-life examples that demonstrate the severity of the problem and the damage done by the drug or alcohol abuse. Sticking with the facts increases the power of any testament by reducing the deniability of the words.

For example, saying:

"It hurts me that you’ve turned into a drunk.”

Is countered when the alcoholic retorts:

"I’m not a drunk!”

The statement, "you're a drunk" is subjective and deniable. Factual statements are less easily denied.

For example:

"You passed out on the lawn three times this year and your boss told me that your drinking led to your getting fired. I'm scared that we are going to lose the house now and because I love you so much, I'm even more scared that your drinking is going to kill you."

Each person should come up with a list of a few significant examples that illustrate the severity of the problem and the damage caused by the drinking or drug abuse.

Ideally, each person should also impose a set of consequences for refusing to get help, but everyone must be prepared to follow through with any threatened consequences in the event that the addict refuses to get help after the intervention. Threatening something and failing to follow through with it only reduces your future ability to bring about change.

When Should Treatment Start?

After all participants have spoken, the addict is presented with a treatment option. In most cases, the addict agrees to get help.

If possible, do not give the addict an opportunity to change his mind. Ideally, you will have prearranged treatment prior to the event and will have packed bags and gassed up the car in anticipation of a direct trip to the treatment center following the intervention. Every waiting-day that passes after the intervention increases the odds of a change of heart.

If you are relying on insurance to fund treatment, you will need to determine in advance what level of treatment is covered. Don't have an addict agree to residential treatment only to find out later that the insurance that you thought would pay for it won't provide coverage.

What if the Intervention Fails?

No matter how well you run your intervention, it might not work – the addict might still refuse to get help.

Interventions have a fairly high success rate, and many people who steadfastly refuse to get help at the end of an intervention enter into treatment in the days or weeks that follow, after having had a chance to think again about the words and deeds of loved one at the event.

But even if the intervention fails to get the addict into treatment, as long as the event proceeded without negativity, the whole family will benefit from a new post-intervention dynamic.

An intervention gets all cards on the table and ends much of the enabling and excuse-making that propagates addiction within the family. This release from secrecy liberates the family from unhealthy behaviors, while at the same time increasing the pressure on the addict to get the help she needs.

An intervention is an expression of love that can heal the whole family. One way or another, after an intervention things are never the same again.

Don't Wait

The problem isn’t going away, it's only getting worse. No matter how serious the situation, addiction treatment can save lives and restore families. Interventions are emotionally charged and they demand a lot of courage, soul searching, and strength – but they work, even when nothing else seems to.